The Virtual Rambler

Number five: 3^rd May 2010

General Elections

Last month the erupting Icelandic volcano , whose name sounded like a tippling Geordie ordering a strong Belgian lager , sent up a plume of volcanic ash six miles high into the atmosphere. When the subsequent ash cloud spread as far as southern England and eastern Germany , most European airspace was progressively closed and UK flights comprehensively cancelled. Was I alone in feeling that the public reaction fell short of the mark by fingering a set of over-cautious air traffic controllers. What about the Icelandic bankers , probably spending their inflated bonuses on cocaine-fuelled sex-romps in five-star saunas , even as that ash cloud floated towards Europe ? Surely they had a hand in those eruptions ? And how can we be sure that Sven wasn’t involved in some obscure way ? No matter. They say that every cloud has a silver lining. Here and across Europe , ferry and railway companies flourished , along with car-hire firms who expediently hiked their prices to meet the transport crisis. Those people living beneath UK flight paths described their week or two of peace as blissful.

No sooner had all flights been re-instated than the election campaign replaced ash-clouds in newspapers and pub conversation. For “Blame Culture” , a General Election provides the same hearty prospects as a battlefield provides for vultures. Parties trundle out all the usual suspects for our travails. Work-shy , single-parent immigrants , the previous x baneful years of muddled misrule , blah blah blah. The present governors seek to convince the electorate of their praiseworthy record on public health and education while dismissing any “local difficulties” as the result of an economic crisis brought about by forces outside any government’s control. Choosing between the two main political parties becomes a task no easier than deciding whether the more irksome figure in popular music is Bono or Sting. What sort of names are those ? The core principle throughout our political system is one of constant economic growth via a free market ideology and no-one seeking power is likely to challenge this. The whole system’s self-perpetuating tendency resides in the collective sensibility , which has grown addicted to all the dubious benefits of consumerism and technology.

The media , politicians , bankers , immigrants , single parents …. all unwitting agents of this system , which will change (as all systems must) in due time but no sane person can expect such a change hinging on the results of this , or any other , election. A finite number of responses to this fact are available. You accept it , just as you accept volcanic action , traffic jams , plastic bags , budget airlines , nuclear weapons and widespread curtailing of bus service , bank and post office provision. You may wish to boost your credibility by protesting some detail here or there : battery farming or SUVs , perhaps. Or you suggest that radical changes of heart and habits are what’s needed if we are to renounce incessant growth and the primacy of markets. You’re not a stick-in-the-mud , a past-worshipper set against change ? Never satisfied with either nuclear power or that windfarm on the hill , would you prefer us to go back to horses and carts , cooking by firelight , walking miles to and from work ? Back to a parochial world of perpetual toothache and insecurity , growing decrepit before your natural time , ending your lonely days in the workhouse ?

Outside a fringe minority of sandal-wearing low-tech vegetarians , who wants to replace electricity-on-tap with candles , to halt car production and long-haul flights ? How many users of social media would prefer a number of small grocer’s shops stocked with a smattering of locally-grown , seasonal fruit and vegetables in lieu of those extended supermarket aisles , each day of the year a cornucopia of colourful produce from every corner of the globe ? Students of nineteenth century social history will remark on the long , bitter struggle for universal suffrage. Today , you may well ask what exactly are the benefits that have resulted from our great grandfathers and grandmothers wresting from their reluctant political masters the right to vote ? Whether going out to elect Mr. Bland (“there comes a time to prune the roses”) or Mr. Blunt (“we must all accept a smaller slice of the national cake”) , you might as well save your shoe-leather , as my mum used to say. They’re both exhorting us in the posh diction of toffs from a previous age , to accept collective responsibility for discharging the debts largely incurred by a gambling syndicate of their banking chums in the City.


Wig.

Archive

Virtual rambler #1 – Posturing, 9^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #2 – Managerialism, 17^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #3 – Nostalgia, 27^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #4 – The Alpha Male, 13^th April 2010
Virtual rambler #5 – General Elections, 3^rd May 2010
Virtual rambler #6 – The Leisure Industry, 15^th May 2010
Virtual rambler #7 – Guide to The World Cup, 15^th June 2010
Virtual rambler #8 – Human Nature, 12^th July 2010
Virtual rambler #9 – Communities, 13^th August 2010
Virtual rambler #10 – Worlds Apart, 6^th October 2010
Virtual rambler #11 – Dawdling, 22^nd November 2010
Virtual rambler #12 – ELVIS, 24^th December 2010
Virtual rambler #13 – Transience, 4^th February 2011
Virtual rambler #14 – Regional Accents, 15^th April 2011
Virtual rambler #15 – The Afterlife, 21^st July 2011
Virtual rambler #16 – Bizspeak, 27^th August 2011
Virtual rambler #17 – Night Walks, 3^rd October 2011
Virtual rambler #18 – Bob Dylan and Charles Dickens, 8^th November 2011
Virtual rambler #19 – Another Nutty Professor, 16^th December 2011
Virtual rambler #20 – Customer Choice, 16^th January 2012
Virtual rambler #21 – Wearing Shorts, 18^th February 2012
Virtual rambler #22 – A Brief History of Progress, 17^th March 2012
Virtual rambler #23 – The Myth of Sisyphus, 16^th April 2012
Virtual rambler #24 – Natural History, 20^th May 2012
Virtual rambler #25 – European Self Importance, 26^th June 2012
Virtual rambler #26 – Sweet Dreams, 25^th July 2012
Virtual rambler #27 – Excess, 17^th August 2012
Virtual rambler #28 – In Denial, 20^th September 2012
Virtual rambler #29 – The Way, 21^st October 2012
Virtual rambler #30 – On Rambling, 14^th November 2012
Virtual rambler #31 – Gazing Into The Abyss, 18^th December 2012
Virtual rambler #32 – Intellectual Gloom, 25^th January 2013
Virtual rambler #33 – Great Human Achievements, 20^th February 2013
Virtual rambler #34 – Autobiography, 20^th March 2013
Virtual rambler #35 – Your Good Health, 21^st April 2013
Virtual rambler #36 – Deconstruction, 20^th May 2013
Virtual rambler #37 – My Home Town, 19^th June 2013
Virtual rambler #38 – Ancient History, 21^st July 2013
Virtual rambler #39 – Possessions, 20^th August 2013
Virtual rambler #40 – Sporting Stoics, 20^th September 2013
Virtual rambler #41 – Free Time, 20^th October 2013
Virtual rambler #42 – Ewan Don't Allow, 20^th November 2013
Virtual rambler #43 – A Literary Nexus, 20^th December 2013
Virtual rambler #44 – Taking Liberties, 16^th January 2014
Virtual rambler #45 – More or Less, 20^th February 2014
Virtual rambler #46 – Under Control, 20^th March 2014
Virtual rambler #47 – Waiting, 20^th April 2014
Virtual rambler #48 – They Rose Without Trace, 20^th May 2014
Virtual rambler #49 – Bigger Impression , Smaller Footprint, 20^th June 2014
Virtual rambler #50 – Terpsichorean Instrumentations, 18^th July 2014
Virtual rambler #51 – Socially Mediated, 19^th August 2014
Virtual rambler #52 – Rambling Into The Sunset, 20^th September 2014