The Virtual Rambler

Number fifty two : 20^th September 2014

Rambling Into The Sunset

It’s one of those warm mornings you sometimes get in late September. As I’m walking down the narrow track by the side of the old Tannery lodge , a bell and shout resound behind me and I’m forced into the adjacent shrubbery as a trio of cyclists in full Lance Armstrong regalia - helmets , shades , and multi-coloured lycra - hurtle past without a word. “Idiots”, I murmur to myself as they race on to administer footpath justice in mega-city one. Old-age travellers naturally find themselves auditioning for the crowning role of a lifetime but among their number are a stubborn few who have opted for another role in the meantime. On the aptly-named Green Lane , I pass a couple about my own age who each sport a pair of calf-length cotton trousers , seemingly en route to a local production of Treasure Island. Opposite the supermarket to which I’m bound is a Ladbroke’s whose leering window display requests its customers to “please gamble responsibly”.

Soon gripping a hand-basket , I pass along the meat isle with the estranged eye of a vegetarian. The discomforting origin of these packaged chunks of flesh is covertly acknowledged by the discreet locations of the necessary dispatching facilities and public lip-service to “humane” standards of execution therein. Please exterminate responsibly. As I approach the alcoholic drinks section , a security guard steps out from behind the red wines with the look of a faith healer about to demystify his profession. He pops up in my proximity often enough to promote the gratifying idea that even at this late stage I look like a dodgy customer. A man who probably won’t drink responsibly. Strategically positioned about the store are reminders of this supermarket chain’s program of corporate caring. They help to fund projects chosen by the farm-workers and smallholders who benefit from them. They believe in treating their customers , staff and suppliers fairly and of course they also believe in making the right choices for the environment by reducing packaging and CO2 emissions and by responsible sourcing across land and sea. All this flummery designed to suggest that we are patronising an outlet with a greater interest in the well-being of the Earth and its inhabitants than in extracting huge profits from them both.

The check-out terminals are equipped with holographic scanners which decode the binary secrets of every item. Tabloid racks reveal the secrets of the stars. My change and receipt come with a shiny green counter to slot into one of three possible local causes. Thus , supposedly , a small fraction of their huge profits is proportionally deflected towards the recipients in question. This arrangement goes under the marketing title of Community Matters , a gesture of beneficence in the tradition of those tobacco firms who sponsor lung cancer research. Conspicuously , the chosen causes here don’t include the several neighbourhood grocers , newsagents and florists who were put out of business by this very outlet. To lure ever more customers into it there are free coffee and newspaper promotions. Please compete responsibly. Outside the store customers can sit and drink their free coffee at a number of heavy tables with attached benches. These replaced predecessors of more up-market tables and separate chairs that were set among potted bay trees , after all those items proved too easily carted off by those in the local community who refused to steal responsibly.

On the downward elevator , my exit is heralded by the message : “Caution. You are approaching the end of the conveyor”. Just so. A statistical certainty is that extended life- spans have produced more and more retired oldsters bitterly envied by a working population whose taxes provide so much of the national kitty. Parasitic pensioners joined all the other “unproductive” social welfare recipients in the tabloid fiction of taxpayers subsidizing the feckless and bone-idle. In fact the origins of our economic crisis go back to a time when rampant consumerism , self-interest and avarice began to displace a mutually-agreed social contract. Those who declared the latter out-dated and deemed unregulated business mandatory , you can almost hear them shouting out behind you , “Here’s a man who thinks the system’s a racket from beginning to end ! He mocks Casual Wear Fridays and Wellbeing initiatives ! He says wealth and power are the natural refuges for scoundrels and crooks ! After him ! ” ….. The marketing men and credit-mongers , the CBI spokesmen and Treasury advisers , The Sun and the Daily Mail , Paypal and Facebook ….. they’re on your trail and they want you spending like there was no tomorrow. Are his life-insurance arrangements in place ? Has he provided for his loved ones ? Covered his funeral expenses ? Will he make death viable ? Please die responsibly !

Wig

Archive

Virtual rambler #1 – Posturing, 9^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #2 – Managerialism, 17^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #3 – Nostalgia, 27^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #4 – The Alpha Male, 13^th April 2010
Virtual rambler #5 – General Elections, 3^rd May 2010
Virtual rambler #6 – The Leisure Industry, 15^th May 2010
Virtual rambler #7 – Guide to The World Cup, 15^th June 2010
Virtual rambler #8 – Human Nature, 12^th July 2010
Virtual rambler #9 – Communities, 13^th August 2010
Virtual rambler #10 – Worlds Apart, 6^th October 2010
Virtual rambler #11 – Dawdling, 22^nd November 2010
Virtual rambler #12 – ELVIS, 24^th December 2010
Virtual rambler #13 – Transience, 4^th February 2011
Virtual rambler #14 – Regional Accents, 15^th April 2011
Virtual rambler #15 – The Afterlife, 21^st July 2011
Virtual rambler #16 – Bizspeak, 27^th August 2011
Virtual rambler #17 – Night Walks, 3^rd October 2011
Virtual rambler #18 – Bob Dylan and Charles Dickens, 8^th November 2011
Virtual rambler #19 – Another Nutty Professor, 16^th December 2011
Virtual rambler #20 – Customer Choice, 16^th January 2012
Virtual rambler #21 – Wearing Shorts, 18^th February 2012
Virtual rambler #22 – A Brief History of Progress, 17^th March 2012
Virtual rambler #23 – The Myth of Sisyphus, 16^th April 2012
Virtual rambler #24 – Natural History, 20^th May 2012
Virtual rambler #25 – European Self Importance, 26^th June 2012
Virtual rambler #26 – Sweet Dreams, 25^th July 2012
Virtual rambler #27 – Excess, 17^th August 2012
Virtual rambler #28 – In Denial, 20^th September 2012
Virtual rambler #29 – The Way, 21^st October 2012
Virtual rambler #30 – On Rambling, 14^th November 2012
Virtual rambler #31 – Gazing Into The Abyss, 18^th December 2012
Virtual rambler #32 – Intellectual Gloom, 25^th January 2013
Virtual rambler #33 – Great Human Achievements, 20^th February 2013
Virtual rambler #34 – Autobiography, 20^th March 2013
Virtual rambler #35 – Your Good Health, 21^st April 2013
Virtual rambler #36 – Deconstruction, 20^th May 2013
Virtual rambler #37 – My Home Town, 19^th June 2013
Virtual rambler #38 – Ancient History, 21^st July 2013
Virtual rambler #39 – Possessions, 20^th August 2013
Virtual rambler #40 – Sporting Stoics, 20^th September 2013
Virtual rambler #41 – Free Time, 20^th October 2013
Virtual rambler #42 – Ewan Don't Allow, 20^th November 2013
Virtual rambler #43 – A Literary Nexus, 20^th December 2013
Virtual rambler #44 – Taking Liberties, 16^th January 2014
Virtual rambler #45 – More or Less, 20^th February 2014
Virtual rambler #46 – Under Control, 20^th March 2014
Virtual rambler #47 – Waiting, 20^th April 2014
Virtual rambler #48 – They Rose Without Trace, 20^th May 2014
Virtual rambler #49 – Bigger Impression , Smaller Footprint, 20^th June 2014
Virtual rambler #50 – Terpsichorean Instrumentations, 18^th July 2014
Virtual rambler #51 – Socially Mediated, 19^th August 2014