The Virtual Rambler

Number four: 13^th April 2010

The Alpha Male

Clinical psychology identifies some of the insane as consumed by such a degree of self-importance that all other creatures fade into insignificance. It’s a trait shared by the human alpha male.In Saint David’s Natural World , alpha males can assert their dominance by a variety of means : by exhibitions of multi-coloured plumage , by bellowing or screeching and by elaborate dance-steps accompanied by head-bobbing. The bearded Premiership goal-scorer may employ all of these on his way to the corner flag for some celebratory moves. Now observe the opposing team’s manager leaping from his dugout , teeth bared in outrage , gesticulating like the leader of a troop of baboons threatened by interlopers. We switch to a quiet Sunday afternoon on a recent suburban development favoured by young executives - “The place that’s going to be THE place to be”. After his customary Sabbath power lunch and brief power nap , a weekday toiler in Human Resources emerges into his garden. He grips an armoury of power tools , their barrels and triggers designed to resemble automatic weaponry. The modern gardener laid down his father’s shears and ceased to push the quiet rotary-blade mower , in favour of a set of auxiliary devices that resound on the summer breeze like a swarm of genetically-enhanced killer bees. Hedge Trimmers ! Pressure Washers ! Leaf Blowers ! Chainsaws and Shredders ! They provide a wall of noise appropriate for a video game involving the battle for Stalingrad.

In a culture of universal narcissism , there’s little need to supplement already-plentiful means for enhancing our self-regard. Yet this was the very task assigned by late capitalism to its agents in the field of product design and marketing. What sort of stuff can we produce that people will eventually feel they can’t do without ? The consumer’s holy trinity became the car , the cellphone and the personal computer. How did our parents cope without them ? Public transport ! Letter-writing ! Libraries ! That was yesterday’s vibe. Computers and mobile phones were products originating from military research , so when we peer into our screens great or small , isn’t there a hint of being a NASA technocrat monitoring the latest space probe or , better still , heading a team at HQ who’re directing operations to flush out those pesky insurgents ? Retailers quickly realised the potential of all electronic playthings for non-stop advertising to pop up at every other click of the mouse or press of a digit. Whether you wanted them or not , a blizzard of incessant upgrades became an intrinsic feature of digital device culture. The refrain of the Management age was change for change’s sake. Must-have , ever-smarter phones come and go with the seasons and we change our mobile ring-tones and screen savers as kings of old changed their court-jester once boredom had set in.

Then there are cars. Automobiles became chariots of escape for consumers whose sovereign principle of desire had become the separation from other people. Here in my car I feel safest of all. An elbow resting on the wound-down window and one hand on the wheel , cool wind in your hair and a country music station on the radio. There’s no other vehicle in sight and the open road stretches ahead along the Amalfi coastline. Now all life’s unreasonable constraints will fly into your slipstream and disappear beyond the back bumper. After his astronomical salary and exclusive residence , the next alpha male requirement will be his choice of car. High-powered vehicles always increasing the chance of accidental death for someone , power and daring are now literally at his fingertips. Even the gamma male finds they have something to offer. Once settled into the driving seat , a normally mild-mannered sort of chap can strike up a continuous stream of foul language directed at every other fellow motorist. No junction , roundabout or set of traffic lights is without some hesitant lightweight impeding his progress. Car interiors seem to function as suppressors of tolerance and goodwill. Cousins to Reich’s orgone accumulators ⁽¹⁾ , they foster insolence and aggression. They license men from the lower orders to behave like alpha males who have woken up with bad hangovers to hear their annual bonus has just been halved.

Wig.

⁽¹⁾ Orgone energy was proposed by Wilhelm Reich as an esoteric life-force , closely associated with sexuality and the orgasm. This persuaded William Burroughs in particular to build his own orgone box - ostensibly increasing the orgone concentration within - and in 1973 Hawkwind sang “An orgone accumulator is a superman creator , it’s a cerebral vibrator.”

Archive

Virtual rambler #1 – Posturing, 9^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #2 – Managerialism, 17^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #3 – Nostalgia, 27^th March 2010
Virtual rambler #4 – The Alpha Male, 13^th April 2010
Virtual rambler #5 – General Elections, 3^rd May 2010
Virtual rambler #6 – The Leisure Industry, 15^th May 2010
Virtual rambler #7 – Guide to The World Cup, 15^th June 2010
Virtual rambler #8 – Human Nature, 12^th July 2010
Virtual rambler #9 – Communities, 13^th August 2010
Virtual rambler #10 – Worlds Apart, 6^th October 2010
Virtual rambler #11 – Dawdling, 22^nd November 2010
Virtual rambler #12 – ELVIS, 24^th December 2010
Virtual rambler #13 – Transience, 4^th February 2011
Virtual rambler #14 – Regional Accents, 15^th April 2011
Virtual rambler #15 – The Afterlife, 21^st July 2011
Virtual rambler #16 – Bizspeak, 27^th August 2011
Virtual rambler #17 – Night Walks, 3^rd October 2011
Virtual rambler #18 – Bob Dylan and Charles Dickens, 8^th November 2011
Virtual rambler #19 – Another Nutty Professor, 16^th December 2011
Virtual rambler #20 – Customer Choice, 16^th January 2012
Virtual rambler #21 – Wearing Shorts, 18^th February 2012
Virtual rambler #22 – A Brief History of Progress, 17^th March 2012
Virtual rambler #23 – The Myth of Sisyphus, 16^th April 2012
Virtual rambler #24 – Natural History, 20^th May 2012
Virtual rambler #25 – European Self Importance, 26^th June 2012
Virtual rambler #26 – Sweet Dreams, 25^th July 2012
Virtual rambler #27 – Excess, 17^th August 2012
Virtual rambler #28 – In Denial, 20^th September 2012
Virtual rambler #29 – The Way, 21^st October 2012
Virtual rambler #30 – On Rambling, 14^th November 2012
Virtual rambler #31 – Gazing Into The Abyss, 18^th December 2012
Virtual rambler #32 – Intellectual Gloom, 25^th January 2013
Virtual rambler #33 – Great Human Achievements, 20^th February 2013
Virtual rambler #34 – Autobiography, 20^th March 2013
Virtual rambler #35 – Your Good Health, 21^st April 2013
Virtual rambler #36 – Deconstruction, 20^th May 2013
Virtual rambler #37 – My Home Town, 19^th June 2013
Virtual rambler #38 – Ancient History, 21^st July 2013
Virtual rambler #39 – Possessions, 20^th August 2013
Virtual rambler #40 – Sporting Stoics, 20^th September 2013
Virtual rambler #41 – Free Time, 20^th October 2013
Virtual rambler #42 – Ewan Don't Allow, 20^th November 2013
Virtual rambler #43 – A Literary Nexus, 20^th December 2013
Virtual rambler #44 – Taking Liberties, 16^th January 2014
Virtual rambler #45 – More or Less, 20^th February 2014
Virtual rambler #46 – Under Control, 20^th March 2014
Virtual rambler #47 – Waiting, 20^th April 2014
Virtual rambler #48 – They Rose Without Trace, 20^th May 2014
Virtual rambler #49 – Bigger Impression , Smaller Footprint, 20^th June 2014
Virtual rambler #50 – Terpsichorean Instrumentations, 18^th July 2014
Virtual rambler #51 – Socially Mediated, 19^th August 2014
Virtual rambler #52 – Rambling Into The Sunset, 20^th September 2014