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Clinical psychology identifies some of the insane as consumed by such a degree of self-importance that all other creatures fade into insignificance. It’s
a trait shared by the human alpha male.In Saint David’s Natural World , alpha males can assert their dominance by a variety of means : by exhibitions
of multi-coloured plumage , by bellowing or screeching and by elaborate dance-steps accompanied by head-bobbing. The bearded Premiership goal-scorer may
employ all of these on his way to the corner flag for some celebratory moves. Now observe the opposing team’s manager leaping from his dugout , teeth
bared in outrage , gesticulating like the leader of a troop of baboons threatened by interlopers. We switch to a quiet Sunday afternoon on a recent suburban
development favoured by young executives - “The place that’s going to be THE place to be”. After his customary Sabbath power lunch and brief
power nap , a weekday toiler in Human Resources emerges into his garden. He grips an armoury of power tools , their barrels and triggers designed to resemble
automatic weaponry. The modern gardener laid down his father’s shears and ceased to push the quiet rotary-blade mower , in favour of a set of auxiliary
devices that resound on the summer breeze like a swarm of genetically-enhanced killer bees. Hedge Trimmers ! Pressure Washers ! Leaf Blowers ! Chainsaws and
Shredders ! They provide a wall of noise appropriate for a video game involving the battle for Stalingrad.
In a culture of universal narcissism , there’s little need to supplement already-plentiful means for enhancing our self-regard. Yet this was the very
task assigned by late capitalism to its agents in the field of product design and marketing. What sort of stuff can we produce that people will eventually
feel they can’t do without ? The consumer’s holy trinity became the car , the cellphone and the personal computer. How did our parents cope
without them ? Public transport ! Letter-writing ! Libraries ! That was yesterday’s vibe. Computers and mobile phones were products originating from
military research , so when we peer into our screens great or small , isn’t there a hint of being a NASA technocrat monitoring the latest space probe
or , better still , heading a team at HQ who’re directing operations to flush out those pesky insurgents ? Retailers quickly realised the potential
of all electronic playthings for non-stop advertising to pop up at every other click of the mouse or press of a digit. Whether you wanted them or not , a
blizzard of incessant upgrades became an intrinsic feature of digital device culture. The refrain of the Management age was change for change’s sake.
Must-have , ever-smarter phones come and go with the seasons and we change our mobile ring-tones and screen savers as kings of old changed their court-jester
once boredom had set in.
Then there are cars. Automobiles became chariots of escape for consumers whose sovereign principle of desire had become the separation from other people.
Here in my car I feel safest of all. An elbow resting on the wound-down window and one hand on the wheel , cool wind in your hair and a country music station
on the radio. There’s no other vehicle in sight and the open road stretches ahead along the Amalfi coastline. Now all life’s unreasonable constraints
will fly into your slipstream and disappear beyond the back bumper. After his astronomical salary and exclusive residence , the next alpha male requirement
will be his choice of car. High-powered vehicles always increasing the chance of accidental death for someone , power and daring are now literally at his
fingertips. Even the gamma male finds they have something to offer. Once settled into the driving seat , a normally mild-mannered sort of chap can strike up
a continuous stream of foul language directed at every other fellow motorist. No junction , roundabout or set of traffic lights is without some hesitant
lightweight impeding his progress. Car interiors seem to function as suppressors of tolerance and goodwill. Cousins to Reich’s orgone accumulators
(1) , they foster insolence and aggression. They license men from the lower orders to behave like alpha males who have woken up with bad hangovers to
hear their annual bonus has just been halved.
Wig.
(1) Orgone energy was proposed by Wilhelm Reich as an esoteric life-force , closely
associated with sexuality and the orgasm. This persuaded William Burroughs
in particular to build his own orgone box - ostensibly increasing the orgone concentration within - and in 1973 Hawkwind sang “An orgone accumulator is a superman creator , it’s a cerebral vibrator.”
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