Poets' Corner

Number two : 10th October 2012



The Workman's Friend


(from the novel At Swim Two Birds by Flann O' Brien)


The name or title of the pome I am about to recite , gentlemen , said Shanahan with leisure priest-like in character , is a pome by the name of the ‘Workman’s Friend’. By God you can’t beat it. I’ve heard it praised by the highest. Its a pome about a thing that’s known to all of us. Its about a drink of porter ....
Up on your legs man , said Furriskey. Mr Lamont and myself are waiting and listening ....
Come on , off you go , said Lamont.
Now listen , said Shanahan clearing the way with small coughs. Listen now.
He arose holding out his hand and bending his knee beneath him on the chair.

When things go wrong and will not come right
Though you do the best you can
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

By God there’s a lilt in that , said Lamont.
Very good indeed , said Furriskey. Very nice.
I’m telling you it's the business , said Shanahan. Listen now.

When money’s tight and is hard to get
And your horse has also ran
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange
And your face is pale and wan
When doctors say that you need a change -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

There are things in that pome that make for what you call permanence. Do you know what I mean , Mr Furriskey ?
There’s no doubt about it , its a grand thing , said Furriskey. Come on Mr Shanahan , give us another verse. Don’t tell me that’s the end of it.
Can’t you listen ? said Shanahan.

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

What do you think of that now ?
Its a pome that’ll live , called Lamont , a pome that’ll be heard and clapped when plenty more ....
But wait till you hear the last verse , man , the polish off ....

In time of trouble and lousy strife
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.



Archive

Poets' Corner #1 – Poetic Pessimism, 13th September 2012